Featured Story - April 2008:
Natural Law (excerpt)

"Hardly anybody knew," Herman says. It's the most comforting thought out of the whole ordeal: this deniability. He didn't tell his parents she was pregnant. Even between the two of them, they didn't talk about it much. No pros and cons about the baby's sex, no name. No showers, no safer or bigger cars. No philosophical musings about the shape of the world they were bringing the child into, or whether they would turn out to be exactly like their parents. They weren't going to buy books, consult friends, or sign up for catalogs. In the beginning, when they decided to try to conceive, they were determined not to be that type of parents. They merely had taken a look at their finances, and the numbers told them it was to be as good a time as ever.

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About the Story

This story didn't quite make it to the short story collection because it didn't quite fit in with the others. But the story has personal meanings to me, so I'm including it on the website. First, my mother's first pregnancy ended in miscarriage - it was twins, a boy and a girl - exactly what she had wanted since she was young. I came two years later. I often think that's why I have this fear of being a disappointment to others - which explains my need to be well liked by others - because I had come into my parents' lives almost like a consolation prize. Second, I wrote this story after a friend of mine had an early miscarriage several years ago. I couldn't talk to her about it right then, because she was rightfully in retreat with her husband. She had said she had only told a handful of friends and was waiting until later in the pregnancy before making it public. She didn't specifically say who knew. Even though I could guess who among our friends knew, after the miscarriage, I wanted to respect her privacy and refrained from processing my lesser grief with others. So I wrote this story instead. And what makes me keep coming back to this story is one of the lines in the last paragraph about loneliness.